Now Noah, said the Lord, “I want you to build a big boat
And make it like I tell you so I know that it will float.”
So Noah called Menards and got a big load of gopher wood.
And he got his sons to help him work, as he knew he should.
And all Noah had was hand tools to shape the wood
So they cut and carved and it worked out real good.
But Mrs. Noah said, “It would take fewer workers if the boat wasn’t oversized.
Noah said, ”I tried to get some local workers but they weren’t unionized.”
So Noah built the ark in about a hundred years.
But it took its toll in much blood, sweat, and tears.
And all the local folks laughed at Noah’s land-locked boat.
They made fun of Noah’s work and said it wouldn’t float.
Noah didn’t gather up the animals as he thought he had to do.
The Lord did it for him and gathered them two-by-two.
Then it began to rain and the waters began to rise
And caught the local residents completely by surprise.
Every one of Noah’s family and his creature guests were there
Gathered aboard the boat, with fodder too, with plenty of room to spare.
So God shut the door as the waters rose some more
And the land began to recede to the other shore.
I would tell you how this ended if you wouldn’t mind,
But I was one of the others that got left behind.
* No disrespect intended.